Third assignment for A363

In this assignment, I had to critique a piece of work that had been put on the group forum and discuss the comments relating to the works that I had chosen. The one I had chosen was a ‘Possible idea.’

When discussing the work, I referred to group members as ‘commentator.’ Even though the tutor would know who commented on the work, I never mentioned the person’s name. However, the feedback I received revealed that I should have said the commentator’s name. Next, I went into a brief detail about the idea the student had shared. Again, it was advised there should have been a brief summary, so that the reader would have an idea of the work and its flavour. Furthermore, when I cited a comment in the bibliography, I cited the original student instead of the person who made the comment.

When reading at the original work and comments, I agreed with a commentator. There could have been more description of what the shop looked like. The feedback on this meant the tutor agreed this could be useful if the student planned to take the story further for a future assignment. In the same way, when I commented in the critique that the reader was left wanting more, the tutor also agreed with this. As the story was a good premise. In addition, when the student put more of the story on the forum, they mentioned things like ‘cassette tape’ giving us the reader, a certain feel to that period in time.

However, I did make silly mistakes, such as forgetting to indent the first line of the paragraph. I didn’t think this applied as it was a critique and not a story. Then, when I read the story again, I stated the student had swapped between past and present tense. Whereas, the tutor disagreed with my comment within my critique. Additionally, when I stated that working on the main character’s parents in which it had taken a darker tone. I had forgotten not only to give an example of the tone, but state whether it was an improvement or not. I also had forgotten to use terminology employed on the course.

As the story progressed and changes were made, the student had improved the story by creating tension which engaged the reader. And yet, when commenting how I felt for character’s mother as the tension grows, I didn’t elaborate on this by giving an example, which I should have done.

Finally, I found doing a critique of someone’s work very hard and the mark wasn’t as bad as it could have been. This is something I didn’t like doing as an assignment but I understand the reasoning behind it. So, if I had to do another critique, I would analyse it better and learn from the feedback given.

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